myhistiostory

There's a moment when you go to bed when the silence can break you. Your heart pounding is the only thing you feel. This silence different, it's louder than your heart, louder than the clock ticking, louder than your breaththing, louder than your thoughts. It's just silent. These moments scare me because I'm rudely reminded of how lonely I am. I force myself to think to interrupt the silence. It's not a pleasant silence, it's not the silence that you need or want. It's a creepy silence, one that crawles all over your body and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Suddenly I find myself trying to hide from the silence in the same way you hide when you see someone in the corridor you're trying hard to avoid. I try to listen to music, I try to think of other things, but the silence is in my face, starring at me almost shaming me becaue I fail to block it out. I end up succumbing to tears, tears that won't stop but exhaust me enough to fall asleep.

All I want is to run away to a place where the silence can't get to me.