Dear LCH,
I remember the day you came into my life. You marched in unannounced and made your presence known. You stood behind me as I starred into the mirror, your eyes burning into my neck. You stood behind me in the shadows of the dark, lurking, waiting for the right moment to reveal yourself with your eyes, the color of fire. You wanted to make sure I noticed you too.
You watched my every move and felt my every breath, you even chose which breath to take away. You whispered in my ear, the sentence I never wanted to hear. Your callous breath made me shiver, it made me cringe. I feared you. Every word you said, made me suffocate. You took pleasure in this. I could see the flames in your eyes ignite with every breath I tried to grasp. You took pleasure in this.
You scared people away. You made the doctors think I was crazy. You sat there in silence with a smirk on your face, watching me fight, watching me swim against the tide, watching me squirm. You watched me slowly lose my mind and you smiled. You were calm, almost unbothered. Your sadistic nature took pleasure in this. You watched as my tears drained my soul. You watched me fade away. You watched me get weaker, in silence. Drained by my tears, desperate for hope, and yearning for an end, I believed you.
You scared people away. You made the doctors think I was crazy. You sat there in silence with a smirk on your face, watching me fight, watching me swim against the tide, watching me squirm. You watched me slowly lose my mind and you smiled. You were calm, almost unbothered. Your sadistic nature took pleasure in this. You watched as my tears drained my soul. You watched me fade away. You watched me get weaker, in silence. Drained by my tears, desperate for hope, and yearning for an end, I believed you.
In silence, you told me everything was going to be alright. You told me you would soon leave. You told me it was soon over. You even smiled at me, and told me that our paths would soon depart. I should have known. I should have known that your politness, your perverse silence was a part of your sadistic plan. One day, you stroked my face and told me not to cry, you wiped away my last tear and told me that my pain would fade away! I could almost taste your goodbye. Your charm mesmerized me. Your sudden change of heart, your sudden calmness, it was different, I believed you. You were different, I couldn't tell how, but you were different. You were getting stronger, and I let you.
Every minute with me, was a minute closer to my fall. You knew this. You laughed. I saw the flames in your eyes. I excused it. It was never over. I was on my knees, screaming, begging for mercy, and you kicked me down like a fallen horse. Every night, you watched me suffer. You watched me get weaker, you watched me deterioate. I could feel your laughs piercing through my heart. Like lava pulping out from a volcano, I was on fire. Your curiosity drew you closer, you had to watch the torture, it was after all, your pleasure. As I tried to escape, you avidly ran and cornered me in a room where no one else could enter. They couldn't see me. This was your show and you were the sole audience in the front row. No one would save me. I was in a prison with no walls, a room with no floors, a space with no air. I begged for mercy, you smiled. My pain, my suffering, my torment was your energy. You thrived off my weakness. Your laugh was electric. Your presence was suffocating. I should have known. I should have known that you were not to be trusted.
Every minute with me, was a minute closer to my fall. You knew this. You laughed. I saw the flames in your eyes. I excused it. It was never over. I was on my knees, screaming, begging for mercy, and you kicked me down like a fallen horse. Every night, you watched me suffer. You watched me get weaker, you watched me deterioate. I could feel your laughs piercing through my heart. Like lava pulping out from a volcano, I was on fire. Your curiosity drew you closer, you had to watch the torture, it was after all, your pleasure. As I tried to escape, you avidly ran and cornered me in a room where no one else could enter. They couldn't see me. This was your show and you were the sole audience in the front row. No one would save me. I was in a prison with no walls, a room with no floors, a space with no air. I begged for mercy, you smiled. My pain, my suffering, my torment was your energy. You thrived off my weakness. Your laugh was electric. Your presence was suffocating. I should have known. I should have known that you were not to be trusted.
I lay there, scorched by the inferno you lit inside me. You had chopped me up, beat me down, and burnt me alive. I was now nothing more than a piece of meat, a carcus ready for your hounds to feast on. My eyes were dry, I had no tears left inside me. My mouth was yearning, screaming for water. I couldn't speak, I couldn't make a sound. All my words were spent begging for mercy, I was empty. My aching body cried for me too. You were blurry now, or I was blinded, I couldn't tell. I lay there in pieces, the room was dark, cold, foreign. Squinting, I caught a glimpse of your eyes. The flames in your eyes, who could forget those flames? The rise and fall of those flames. Those flames. I was burnt by the electricity in your smile. It was taunting me.
You sat on your throne and watched me pull myself up. I was broken. I could barely fathom where I was, who I was, or what had happened. My memory focused only on those flames. I gazed around, desperately trying to recognize a sign of hope, a sign of life. I was in the trenches, I was alone, I wasn't Me. I looked over and saw a dead body. It was Me. It was Her. It was who I use to be. She was a memory. You killed Me. With pleasure, you killed Me.
There I stood, infront of you. I had nothing left to lose. You infuriated me. You lit a fire in me far greater than the lava you slowly poured on me. You provoced me. I stood infront of you, clenching my fists. I looked right into those burning flames and I wasn't scared anymore, you couldn't burn me. You feared this. I could see your flames tremble as you glarred into mine. I didn't say a word, my flames spoke for me, just like your flames spoke for you. We gazed at each other, flame to flame, in the dark, in silence. The fire in me scared you. It was almost romantic, it was powerful. Two fires ready to meet, only one would remain burning.
My dear LCH, I'm still burning.
All my love, H xxxx
Kommentarer
Postat av: A
I really liked this Hebbah. You really grasped me with your writing. It was beautiful but sad. I'm sorry you had to go through so much. You're such a fighter though and I agree ur still burning like always ;)
Many hugs
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