myhistiostory

So, no news...I had my third chemo date today. Yet again, I stretted in there (well, I rolled in there, but you get my drift) and chit chatted away with the nurses and the rest of the patients. Of course, all dressed up (even though I was contemplating not getting dressed at all with the pain I was in), nails painted, hair done, the lot. I walked in there...smiling...unafraid..and determined. It's hard...I'm not going to lie. It's hard succumbing to the idea that I am in the process of getting weaker and that sometimes I won't have control of the side effects that hit me...especially when they come so suddenly. But nevertheless, it's only temporary. I intend to live a long and happy life, if it means getting weaker for just a couple of months, so be it. The hardest part, hands down is the emotional war the cortison is causing me. One minute I'm happy, hyper, content. The next minute, I'm furious, anxious, and crying. And by the end of it I don't even know what hit me or why I felt the way I did...or what triggered it. It's frustrating to be like this. I know it's the medication, or maybe the medication is just bringing out feelings I already had. I don't know...but I'm trying to find out :)

/H