myhistiostory

I cannot believe how tired I am. Even when I've slept all night. OK...fine, so I fall asleep late. But that's never been a problem for me. I just can't keep my eyes open. My whole body is just...dead. I was at work late today and I thought I'd take a nap. I ended up sleeping for an hour and a half. I don't like me very much right now. I don't like not having the energy. I just want to carry on as normal. It's bumming me out.

One of my best friends, who's wedding I missed just sent me a link to see her wedding photo's. I couldn't go through them all. Not right now. It just hurts too much. It reminds me of what I missed, her wedding day. It reminds me of why I couldn't go. It reminds me of what I will be missing in the next couple of months. I looked through a few, and she looked, stunning...the whole wedding just looked so perfect. Amazing. I'm so happy for her, I couldn't be happier. But at the same time, here I am, with tears running down my face.

Anyway...I'm going to go to sleep and wake up refreshed I've decided. I can barely keep my eyes open and I'm in dire need of my best friend...codene (he will take away ALL your pain...well...if you take a few, one isn't enough, and 2 gets me high...yepp..that's my aim every night...get high and pass f*** out!!)

Lights out.

/H